So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
