Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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