Plan B is the new Plan A
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
