I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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