just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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