Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I need a hoe opinion
go on
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
