You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
