there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I need water and some morals
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
