I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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