Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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