I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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