that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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