I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
