Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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