those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
