Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I need to align my fucking chakras
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
