Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
