i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
