Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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