I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
