If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
