But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
