i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
