Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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