I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
