I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
