My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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