It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
