Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
