Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
