I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
