Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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