Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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