How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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