garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
