He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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