Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
