I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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