Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
