dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Barsexuality is the new black.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
