so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
