We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
