Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
