She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I wear drunk well.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
