did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
