New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
