I wish I could teleport
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
