My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
