Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
