I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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