we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
