Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she told me i tasted like america
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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