Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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